There is not much to post now other than Xander is sleeping and has not had a seizure in almost 12 hours. While he is super drugged up,, and it would make sense that he has not had any seizures, there is a part of me that knows if it were not for God I would not be able to tell you it has been 12 hours. He still cannot move his right side of his body, his mouth, arm, fingers, leg, and toes, the doctors tell us he should recover most of it, it may take as long as 3 months. We are praying for a faster recovery, he is such a fighter and is trying so hard, I am so proud of him, he is so much stronger than I am, or could ever be. We are exhausted, I slept 5 hours tonight, that is about all I have slept in 3 days; funny that I feel refreshed on such little sleep. My buddy Nick always laughs that I am able to sleep so much at home, and am still tired throughout the day. I have trained the twins not to wake up till at least 8, so most days I get my 6-8 hours, some days they bless me and not wake up until 9 or 10; so this lack of sleep thing is a new experience.
If I could hug everyone of you, I would; you have all been our greatest help (besides God) in our toughest time. Every word of encouragement is like water to our lips, life to our souls, and peace to our aching hearts. I am a blessed man, blessed beyond measure, to be surrounded by a multitude of incredible friends and family. If I was a rich man, none of you would ever have a worry; I am not a rich man, but I do serve a just God who will repay all those who have blessed us. I am a testimony to that, we are a testimony to that, I read all the encouragement, and cannot help but think this is some of my reward for faithfully serving an awsome God, who never fails to love. Your payment for your faithfulness to our family will come, I know it, it may not be right away, but one day when you really need it, it will be there. Look at us, it has happened to us, for years I gave my all, literally, to God, I have lived a blessed life, yet I cannot help but think this is some of my reward for following him.
Now do not think I serve him for rewards, I talked to Sarah today and told her “If this ends up not working, it will not change my thoughts on God. I am still going to serve him, and raise this family knowing of his goodness. I am still going to teach our boys about God, and I am still going to follow him, I have to.” I know this is easier said than done, but when I chose to follow Christ I didn’t tell him “I will follow you as long as it is easy, and i get all I want” I told him “God I will follow you ALL my days, no matter what.” I must stand to that, God is good, no matter our circumstance. I was readng today, and this Psalms hit me hard, Pslam 6:
1O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
3 My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
4 Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
5 No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave [b] ?
6 I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the LORD has heard my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
the LORD accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.
This post is to let you all know we are still fighting, holding on to Gods promises; and like David said in Psalm 27 (one of my favorite) I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Lord I ask you would bless all those who have prayed for us and our Xander. That for evey tear lost, every minute of sleep lost, or every heartache, you would repay them in only a way you can. I know you are faithful and just in all your ways, please show our friends that. To the ones I have never met, and are praying for Xander, please bless them sevenfold. To our families who have been there from the beginning, fill them back up. Lord, our family and friends are doing what you asked, they are laying down their lives for another, for Xander; please oh Lord, repay them.
I love you all, Xander has no clue how much he is loved, hopefully one day he can catch a glimpse, as I am trying to record his days here, and keep a record of your love. Keep praying, we are not through yet, there is still hope; faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do NOT see. We miss you all.
